The Art of Letting Go

As an overly obsessive, ridiculously romantic and at times, painfully unrealistic individual, “letting go” is a concept I have yet been able to comprehend, much less employ in my daily life. Whether it is a relationship or even a friendship, recognizing that my best laid plans will not come to fruition is a fact that I haven’t been able to appreciate. I know that recognizing that I have a problem is the first step in any recovery process. Figuring out a way to overcome this debilitating malady while not completely alienating the few remaining friends I have left is the ultimate resolution.

And so I wonder – why is it so hard to let go?

I imagine the root of this whole predicament is a devastating sense of fear. Fear of the unknown. Fear of having to start from the beginning. Fear of placing myself in a vulnerable state once again just to be met with the same disappointing results. Underlying it all is an unbearable fear of failure. It’s the Fear that motivates the manic clutching, the frenzied grasping, the desperate clenching. Only through getting over the fear can one truly be able to “let go”.

It’s akin to giving up your favorite pair of shoes – sexy black pumps that were comfortable enough to wear all day to work, but sultry enough to wear for a night out on the town. Through thick and thin, those shoes were there, sparking the most agreeable memories that come to mind. But the cruelty of Lady Time smeared their glory, making them depleted and worn-out. Although the only sensation received from wearing them was pain to the lower back, placing them in the garbage bin was something you simply could not do. The thought of finding another pair of perfect pumps seemed to be a frightening impossibility. And yet, the stark reality is that the bin is where they truly belonged.

The only way to proceed in life is to ultimately face your fear. Accepting that life doesn’t always play out like a Disney fairytale is a certainty that every individual must realize; as is the fact that failure is a truth that everyone must confront at some point in her life. Even after wishing on every star that illuminates the sky or crossing every bone in your body, “happily ever after” might not be achieved. Sometimes, hopes and dreams aren’t realized. Only through accepting the uncertainty of life can one truly get over that fear. And in getting over that underlying fear, can one ultimately let go.

And as sad as it is to see your favorite pair of shoes languishing in the garbage rubble – take solace in the fact that with every loss comes an opportunity for the future. In this case, it’s an opportunity for shopping. What could be more exciting and hopeful than that?